Sometimes I feel that we are living only to judge things and people. Every moment our mind is busy judging. For a simple thing like a chair in the room we are busy about judging why this chair is in this room, why is it kept in this way, who has placed it here, what kind of a man or woman he or she is. So on and so forth.
Same way a beautiful sun rise and sun set is lost in our judging whether it is beautiful or not, we run in all directions to capture the picture perfect of it and so accepting something and rejecting something. While sun rise is just perfect the way it is but we are going crazy to make it perfect according to our desires beliefs or conditionings.
While meeting someone we are busy judging him or her during the conversation and building or destroying opinions and perceptions that our mind is creating within us. This impacts our behaviour and response to the person and conversation. Are we living only to judge or can we ever be non-judgemental.
Jesus has said “Judge ye not,” this is one of the greatest sayings ever uttered by any man on the earth. It is the most impossible thing for the mind. The mind judges immediately; without any grounds the mind makes a judgment. You have made many judgments without ever looking whether grounds existed for them or not. When we look deeply within us we will find Jesus was right.
No judgment can ever be correct, because the whole world is so deeply interconnected that unless you know the whole you cannot know the part. One thing leads to another because it is interlinked. To judge the whole is virtually impossible so we judge the part and judging the part is bound to be wrong. The present moment is interlinked with the past; the present moment is interlinked with the future. In this moment all eternity culminates. All that has ever happened is there, all that is now happening is there, and all that will ever happen is there. How can you judge? The world is not divided. If it was divided then a fragment could be known, but the world is a totality. All judgments are false because they will be partial, but they will claim to be the whole.
Exactly this is what is the dilemma of the coach. The coachee during the coaching session is only communicating the part not the whole. But his unconscious desire is to seek solution for the whole. The best way a Life Coach can approach the coaching session is by being non-judgemental, so that the coach is able to assess the whole without judging the part.
In coaching parlance it is all about client ( Coachee). A coach helps the client to articulate the desired outcome of the session very consciously so that a skilful coach is able to address the whole and deliver the session with desired actions, awareness and acceptance for the coachee.
Yes, Jesus is absolutely right. Judge ye not because the very judgment will close the coach; it will be a deadness within him. His sensitivity will be lost, and with it his possibility for growth. The moment he judge, he shrinks; the moment he judge, he stop; the moment he judge, he is no longer flowering. So the greatest thing is to be courageous enough not to judge. In fact, it takes the greatest courage to suspend judgment because the mind is so eager to judge, to say good or bad, right or wrong. The mind is juvenile, it jumps from one judgment to another. If you ever want to get out of the mind – and without this there is no possibility for your inner growth – then, judge ye not.
Zen master Lao Tzu was very fond of one story which he narrated to his disciples many times. There was a villager in a small village who had a horse which was very beautiful and very strong. The king was very fond of that horse and asked the villager to sell the horse to him at a fabulous price of his liking. But the villager said the horse is his friend and nobody sells his friend so he refused to sell the horse to the king. One day the horse went missing from its stable, the news spread in the village and the villagers assembled and started telling the villager that it was much expected as he being poor how can he protect such a pricey possession and was an obvious target of thief’s to steal it away. But the old man told the villagers, “Do not go too far off, just narrate the fact that the horse is missing from the stable so nothing more than this is required to be uttered”. 15 days later the horse came back with 10 more such horses and the villagers came running to the old man to say look how wonderful it is now you have 10 more horses you can train them and sell them to fetch lots of money enough to remove your poverty. The old man said just say that the horse has come back with 10 more horses and nothing more needs to be said, as who knows it is a fortune or misfortune. Few days passed and the only son of the old man started training the horses, one day he fell down from the horse and broke his leg. The villagers came running and started telling the old man you were right it is a great misfortune your boy lost his leg because of these horses and now who knows whether he will be able to support you in your old age. The old man said the fact is my son has fallen and broke his leg. Nothing more is required to said than this as who knows it is fortunate or unfortunate. After a few days the King announced the imminent danger of war and ordered all the young people to join the army to fight the war. So all young boys went to join army except the son of the old man. Villagers can running and said to old man again that You were right Falling from horse was very fortunate for his son as he has not been forced to join the army whereas their sons have been sent on war and who knows wether they come dead or alive. The old man said to the villagers that I have been telling you fellows not to judge but you go on judging every situation while it is still now known whether my son is fortunate or unfortunate.
Judge ye not.